Don't Move Your Desk: Chapter Four

In which Keaton fails to use a coffee machine

Apr 27, 2024

A summary for you on what to expect in this edition in case you want to scroll down to the interesting bits: a new podcast feature; life updates; Chapter Four of Don’t Move Your Desk; and the progress report with an update on my week-on-week sales and writing progress.

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First up: I’ve been featured on a podcast this week, talking about ghostwriting and writing books in general. We even got into the human condition! You can listen to that here:

(I hate that podcasts keep using this photo of me from my Instagram - it was taken a couple of years ago and doesn’t look like me anymore. I was heavily pregnant at the time, for one thing! But I suppose rather than being annoyed at the podcasters for not asking me for a photo, I could instead be proactive and change my Instagram profile picture. I never do.)

I’m pleased to report that my rib is healing nicely and I’ve been having some very interesting chats with very interesting people about my next book project. Just in case you were wondering about how I could help you with your own book, I have spaces coming up for ghostwriting, editing, and coaching - though they don’t usually linger long, so do get in touch here if you’d like to work with me.

As a quick reminder: the first three chapters will always be free, but after that, everything will go behind the paywall 60 days after publication. Don’t miss the chance to read it for free by subscribing for email updates!

Okay, that’s it! On with the chapter!

Olly

Ace walked into the room. Keaton trailed behind him. He looked like he was doing his best to be invisible.

I got up and moved to my meeting area. I had a small coffee table with a few comfortable chairs scattered around it. It was somewhere to think and discuss.

I threw the contract down onto the table as Ace sat.

“Something’s wrong with it,” I said.

Ace looked up at me. He was quick. I saw the understanding flash across his face. He reached over and picked it up. “You think they’re trying to trick us?”

“I can sense it,” I said. I sat down in the next chair. “I just don’t know what.”

There was a hissing noise as Keaton turned the coffee machine on. Steam blew out of one of the spouts and he yelped quietly. I watched him with narrowed eyes. The fool had gotten his fingers too close to the heat. There wasn’t even a coffee cup under the nozzle.

I thought back to our first interaction. That job fair. I’d already been tired and irritated. He wasn’t supposed to get the brunt of that frustration. It wasn’t like I could go back in time and fix it now. I knew I’d come across as rude. Incredibly so.

At least he didn’t seem to remember me at all. That must have been the only reason why he would take this job.

“I’m not seeing anything just yet,” Ace said thoughtfully. “This is for Ridley?”

There was a crashing sound as Keaton fumbled one of the mugs. It landed on the marble tabletop but thankfully did not smash. He shot a sheepish look over his shoulder as I turned back to Ace.

“He’s been demanding we add a new sponsorship deal,” I said. It was only lucky that I had some deals on the table already. There was never really a time that I wasn’t scouting for more deals for my clients. That was part of what made me the best.

Ace knew by now how to read my moods. “You’re angry with him?”

I picked a piece of imaginary lint off the arm of my chair. “He demanded it.”

“Ah.” Ace leafed through the papers again. “And this is the best of the options?”

I nodded curtly. I tried to fix my eyes on the middle distance so I could think.

All I could see in front of me was Keaton. He was pushing all of the wrong buttons on the machine. If he carried on like that he was going to get burned. And probably ruin my carpet.

“Hang on,” Ace said urgently. He leaned forward over the table. “What’s this?”

He placed a sheet of paper flat in front of both of us and tapped one line with his finger. I read it over three times. I’d seen it before. But this time…

It clicked.

“There,” I said. I gave Ace a rare grin. “You found it.”

“How do you want to play it?” Ace asked. “Should we go back and tell them we’re not signing until they remove that clause?”

“No.” I studied the far wall thoughtfully. I valiantly ignored the urgent beeping coming from the coffee machine. “Tell them it’s off. And tell them we won’t deal with them again until they get a new contract lawyer.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Ace raise his eyebrows. “Okay, then,” was all he said. “I’ll go and give them a call now. What about the others? Anything worth going ahead with?”

I reached for the other bundle of stapled papers I had left on the coffee table. “This one,” I said. The machine had stopped beeping and now appeared to be spewing milk into its overflow tray. Perhaps Keaton did remember me after all. It would explain this act of corporate sabotage.

“I’ll let them know we’re going ahead,” Ace said. He stood up with the two contracts in hand. He knew that I was in charge of this decision even though Ridley Angus was his client.

Angus was the best client we had. He was the best football client in the world. Full stop. I trusted Ace. I still wasn’t going to let him run the biggest show on earth alone.

“Um,” Keaton said.

We both looked up.

He was standing in front of us. He held a stained coffee cup in his hands. Both the cup and the saucer were liberally sprayed with droplets of coffee. There was a white milk stain on the cuff of his oversized jacket. His hands were shaking until the cup rattled against the saucer. He steadied them both with some effort.

“Americano,” he said to Ace. There was a pause. “I think.”

Ace eyed it suspiciously. “Thanks, Keaton,” he said. “Actually, I guess the meeting took less time than we thought. I’m going back to my office. Sorry about that. You could, uh… drink it yourself, I guess.”

Keaton looked entirely crestfallen.

“I’ll take it,” I said gruffly. I stood up and removed it from his hands before he could protest.

Ace was giving me an odd look.

“Um, but, sir, don’t you prefer sugar?” Keaton asked. Damnit. He’d actually listened to Fernando.

“Right,” I said. I cleared my throat and marched back to my desk. “Bring me the sugar pot.”

I made sure I kept my back turned to the door until I heard Ace leave through it. Only then could I sit down and face forward again. I couldn’t meet the damn man’s eyes.

“Here,” Keaton said. He put the sugar pot down in front of me. He still looked miserable. “Sorry.”

“You can look up the operation manual online,” I said. I was glad he had left the pot instead of trying to put the sugar in for me. He would probably drop it from a height and splash coffee onto my laptop. “The model number is on the front of the machine.”

It was supposed to sound encouraging. It didn’t seem to come out that way. Keaton blanched further and nodded. He scurried over to the machine and studied it.

“I’ll learn it inside and out,” he promised. “You’ll be able to rely on me. I mean it. I’m going to figure it out. I just – I wasn’t expecting to start so quickly, that’s all.”

I frowned. “You have somewhere else to be?”

“N-no!” Keaton replied. He blushed pink. It was something of an appealing color. “I just mean I wasn’t expecting to be – well, to be thrown in at the deep end. You see, I like to do my research and prepare for things properly – I like to be organized – it’s just today I was only prepared for an interview –”

I held up a hand to interrupt his constant words. “Good.”

“Right,” Keaton said. He cleared his throat and nodded. “Good.”

There was a long pause.

I watched him.

“Um,” he said.

“You can go,” I told him. The question was unspoken but I understood it.

I wasn’t quite sure that being unprepared was the problem. He didn’t seem to understand the most basic of non-verbal cues.

Maybe the amount he talked was a clue as to why.

He rushed back to his desk and closed my doors behind him. I looked over at the coffee machine. It was a mess. So was the cup he’d given me to drink.

I pushed it aside and resolved to pour it away after a suitable amount of time.

I cleared my throat and tried to remember what I was supposed to be doing next. The office seemed rather cold and empty all of a sudden. Very silent.

So silent I could barely hear myself think.

I shot a glance towards the closed doors. I could almost see him behind them. Sitting at his desk. Flustered. Hair sticking out in every direction. Glasses sliding down his nose –

I shook my head. Why was I thinking about this new secretary so much? Feeling guilty about our last meeting would have to stop. He clearly didn’t remember me. I was the only one who needed to move on.

I glanced across the items on my desk. More contracts. A few graphic design items I needed to review and sign off on. Keaton’s contract to be filed with HR. I leafed through it. Had he remembered to fill out his contact details…?

Everything seemed to be filled in. Disappointment slumped through me. I had no reason to call him back in here.

What a stupid thing to be disappointed about.

Perhaps I was going to fire Ace after all. Hiring a secretary who distracted me during meetings was bad enough. Being distracted when he wasn’t even in the room was even worse.

I pressed the buzzer on my intercom.

“Keaton?”

“Yes, sir?”

“You can go home.”

“Are you sure?” he asked breathlessly. “Ace told me I have to stay until you go home, and you’re still here – it’s not even five yet.” He sounded worried. Maybe he thought I was trying to fire him.

“It’s your first day,” I told him. “Go home. Be prepared tomorrow.”

“Yes, sir!” came back over the intercom. I sat back in my chair.

Good. Now maybe I would be able to get some work done.

But it was no use. Every thump outside the door told me a story. Keaton getting his things together. Keaton banging his knee on a desk drawer and yelping. Keaton leaving.

Keaton walking down the hall. My imagination carried on unbidden. Keaton getting into his car. Keaton driving home.

I buried my head in my hands.

What kind of hellish secretary had Ace stuck me with?

Here ends this week’s chapter! What did you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts below. I really appreciate your comments - what you like, what you don’t like, and what you’d like to see next.

Progress Report

Don’t Move Out sales total: ebook - 727, paperback - 6, KU pages read - 287,968 (DMO = 238 pages, so the equivalent of 1,209 full-book reads) - no paperback or ebook sales for anything this month… things have slowed down. I’m glad I already have a new marketing push scheduled in!
Don’t Go Outside sales total: ebook - 77, paperback - 6, KU pages read - 105,822 (DGO = 222 pages, so the equivalent of 476 full-book reads)
Don’t Fly Home sales total: ebook - 45, paperback - 4, KU pages read - 65,527 (DFH = 224 pages, so the equivalent of 292 full-book reads)
Don’t Leave Town sales total: ebook - 54, paperback - 4, KU pages read - 44,928 (DLT = 299 pages, so the equivalent of 150 full-book reads)
Don’t Check Out sales total: ebook - 46, paperback - 2, KU pages read - 23,644 (DCO = 192 pages, so the equivalent of 123 full-book reads)
CC 1-5 Boxset sales total: KU pages read - 10,384 (Boxset = 1,068 pages, so the equivalent of 9 full-set reads) - no change
Don’t Move Your Desk - written and edited fully, serialisation underway, a third of chapters queued up ready
Kiss The Cook cover revealed, loose plot created, full plot fleshed out - work begins in earnest no later than the 6th May!
(Books 7+): 9 covers, themes, and titles done, Crowhill Kitchen release schedule announced, all Kitchen characters created and romances/interpersonal relationships between books set up
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XO Rhiannon

I Dream In Books

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